"Don't turn away from what's painful. By listening attentively, with genuine compassion, we help that person heal."

We often try to minimize the pain a person feels because we're at a loss, and we don't know what to say. So …

We tell them it will pass, and one day they will feel better

We tell them they are strong, and they're going to survive.

We tell them to forget it, and to move on with their life.

We tell them to be grateful for the good things they still have.

But that isn't what they need when the rug's pulled from their feet.

When they're traumatized and broken; when they're shocked, confused and scared.

What that person needs right then is for an understanding person to tell them that:

"This mattered" and

"This pain is terrible."

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