Last night, I accepted full responsibility for the consequences of my financial decisions. Past, present and future.

My girl was counting on me for some cash. She was counting on me because I told her she could, I told her I'd have the money sent yesterday.

Well, when she called, I had to tell her I didn't send it because I didn't have it. "Not all of it," I said, "But I will Monday. And I'll send it then."

She said, "I understand. It's okay."

But it wasn't okay, not for me. I was sick with disappointment in myself.

I hated letting her down. Especially when I insisted she could "count on me."

I knew three weeks ago, it was going to be a financial struggle the first couple of months back from vacation. I knew I was going to have to hit the ground hustlin for gigs and dinero.

And I have been hustling, busking, hitting up old contacts and making new ones. Yesterday, out behind the Buccaneer Souvenir and Gift Shop, I played from 2p-6p, made $43 in tips and booked two paying shows.

Then a friend stopped by, handed me $50 and said, "I want to buy that keyboard you posted for sale on Facebook."

So, desperation is doing for me what I can't do for myself. It's pushing me to do what I was meant to do in order to help others.

And I'm doing it. Every day I'm doing it.

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