Larney posted: " How did you spend your day? I was planning on... 25 December 2020... but I was nowhere near it! I felt more lost this year than I have ever been in my life. I drove for 2 hours alone to meet up with my friend where we hosted a lunch for abused and abando"
How did you spend your day? I was planning on... 25 December 2020... but I was nowhere near it! I felt more lost this year than I have ever been in my life. I drove for 2 hours alone to meet up with my friend where we hosted a lunch for abused and abandoned kids. I was so broken, I had to take crying breaks. Those kids broke my heart. They were happy but I felt so sad for them. I called Untitled and told him I had adopted 10 kids and he's the dad. From 0 to 10 in one afternoon.
Christmas vanished with my mom. Ever since she passed, I'm like a deer in headlights not sure what to do come Christmas. No more though... no more. It was like a punch in the gut when I realized that I have to stop waiting for plans to come to me and actually make them myself.
People hold on to what Christmas was like when they were kids. We are grown. It is different. We have to create the new reality and learn to enjoy it in a new way.
I have no husband, let alone a boyfriend. I have no twins, let alone having someone to fuck. So I'm nowhere near having my ideal Christmas.
Another year, deeper in the sadness.
Maybe next year, I'll host a Christmas eve lunch for the kid and then book myself into a mental hospital, lol, I'm kidding, a nice hotel or lodge or something.... I need to decide because another lost Christmas is something I'm NOT doing again.
WordPress.com
No comments:
Post a Comment