Good news is that the beta blockers worked REALLY well for my social anxiety yesterday. I was actually able to enjoy myself, have good conversations with Seth's family, his young 7 year old nephew didn't give me that much anxiety. It was honestly wonderful. Normally I can feel myself start to shake and my heart start pounding if I'm asked a question or I have to speak in front of everyone in a social situation, and last night I was able to speak freely, without the physical sensations of terror.

I was calm and therefore could just enjoy myself. I also took two low doses of Xanax to help but honestly I think the beta blockers might have done more to help me.

Such a relief. I was only prescribed 30 pills, just because it was my first time using them and we wanted to see if they even worked well for me at the lowest dose. I could always get more through an online website that prescribes some medications (not controlled substances though obviously) although it's around $65 for the virtual appointment, whereas using my own doctor would only be a $40 copay.

Regardless, I think I have enough to at least get me through this holiday week and our move...and then I can try to find a psychiatrist or doctor to refill my prescriptions as needed.

The only one I really even need a doctor for is the Xanax and I honestly still have so many of them...it might be another year before I need another prescription. My psychiatrist in Portland was such a godsend, prescribing me an amount that she knew would last me a long time so I wouldn't have to worry about finding another doctor immediately. She trusted me with that amount too, that I wouldn't abuse it (which I haven't) and now almost TWO years later I still have most of the bottle she prescribed me. Using it as little as possible, only when really needed and the lowest dose possible.

Just feels nice to have found something that makes me feel like a normal person. During times of high stress. Thank goodness.