First off— you know I don't like the whole thing about ghosting. I will admit that I have ghosted twice in my life. The first guy was using his tragedy just to talk to me!! The second one... was the human meat guy. But, in my defense, he kinda creeped me out and I honestly felt bad about distancing myself from him. The first guy... OH MAN! No. Regrets.

Ghosting a "Friend in Need"

This guy was a friend of my ex who loved attention. It didn't matter if it was good or bad— he thrived with any type of attention he got. I remember my ex telling me that when he first met him he felt like he could be a future school shooter because of being quiet and weird (he was harmless to be completely honest). It was also said that part of the reason for his oddness was because he had a brain tumor and needed brain surgery when he was 3... that would explain a lot because he seriously had NO filter whatsoever. NONE.

A year after my ex and I broke up, this guy's mother died of cancer. I posted a condolence message on his post about his mom and then that's how the ball started rolling. My heart went out to him because I understood what it was like to lose a parent— not lose a parent to an illness, but the pain of their absence. We would message each other on Facebook and I would tell him about what I went through with losing my dad. About a week in, he would message me every day about wanting to cry but not being able to, and asking for advise about how he could make new friends... Then he flat out told me that he developed a crush on me while I was dating my ex. That's when I started to distance myself from him. Then he told me that his grief was worse than mine because this was his mother that he saw everyday... So he had is worse than me.

I know what you're thinking. Who the hell does he think he is?!?! Oh! I was mad. MAD. I was homeschooled for all of my 12 years of school, so I was blessed to having the chance to see my dad everyday. And yes, I don't know what it's like to lose a parent to cancer, but he also doesn't understand the pain of losing a parent in an accident and having to bury them in front of the whole state of MD. Saying his grief was worse than mine was uncalled for, but that was him! He was famous for not having a filter like that. Was he like this because of his brain surgery? Nope! He told me himself about the surgery he had when he was younger— Turns out he had a tumor ON THE OUTSIDE of his skull. So, he was naturally rude.

The other weird incident that I can remember was when his father kicked him out of the house (again) and he was calling me and leaving me messages asking if he could come over to my house because he needed a place to stay (I purposely didn't answer those calls/texts. And yes, he was THAT bold enough to ask). The first time he got kicked out he went to stay with my ex's family, but later got kicked out of there because he wouldn't follow the rules. Seriously, if people are nice enough to open their home to you when you're in need— you follow the damn house rules! I remember him badmouthing the family and saying he didn't understand why they kicked him out. 🙄 My ex's family was a nice Christian family that would help anyone in need. Him getting kicked out spoke volumes of how bad he was.

Even though this guy was a college dropout, he would roam the community college campus because he didn't have anything else better to do. 🤦🏻‍♀️ During this time, I ran into him twice and he would follow me wanting to talk. I couldn't get him to leave me alone. I would drop hints that I had to leave and he would try to bring up another topic. I did feel sorry for him, but he was also the type that used that sympathy to get more attention. The second time I saw him, he was actually LOOKING FOR ME in the library because he knew that that's where I would meet with my classmates for a project. My classmates (thank god for them) actually helped me get away from him.

TO BE CLEAR- I didn't talk to him because I was romantically attracted to him in any way. I thought he really needed someone to talk to and I remembered how lonely I felt when people didn't understand the pain of loss.

The final straw that gave me the chance to ghost him was when he clearly lied about something he did just to get my attention and then followed up with a "How do I make friends?" He then added that he met a girl online and fooled around with her. I asked him what her name was and what site he met her on because it was so random. HE SAID HE COULDN'T REMEMBER. He was famous for his telltales, so I knew that he was flat out lying. I was FINALLY mentally drained and felt tired of his negative, needy self and needed to get away from this leach. After that convo, I found my opportune moment to block him on every social media outlet I had. A few months later he made a new Facebook and I block him on that too. My sister went through her messages on Facebook and saw a message request from him asking why I blocked him.

That ghosting... I didn't feel bad at all and still don't feel bad about it. So, yeah… it needed to happen.

Hopefully, I won't have to do it again. 😬

Love, Shelby xoxo

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