Date Yourself. Seriously.

krenaiwit

Feb 28

Wifeys + Gentlemen,

I am trying this new thing where I write articles that are about 1/2 as long as they used to be [think 500-750 words vs 1500+].

Why am I telling you this?

Honestly?

I am NOT confident in my ability to be brief [haha].

I figure if I write it down at the beginning, maybe it'll make me a little more conscious of how much I ramble. But please...bear with me, keeping ish short is not my strong suit and we are growing and learning everyday. Right?

Anyway...

I was recently spending time with a good friend and told him about a few "self-dates" I'd decided to go on recently.

For context; I am gearing up for my biggest solo date EVER in March (more on that later) and being that I hadn't been out "alone" in awhile, I wanted to crawl before I walked and walk before I run.

Unsurprisingly, my friend mentioned that he's never really tried dating himself before. He asked me if I found it awkward or uncomfortable at first before admitting that he was a little too nervous to really get started.

I don't know who might need to read this but dating yourself is SO important and also:

SO. MUCH. FUN.

Look, I know what some of you might be thinking!

Mrs. Renai, why would I volunteer to spend a night out alone when I can go on a date or spend time with friends?

As someone who is regularly called to the streets for social activities, I don't think it has be a "one or the other" kind of concept.

It's making time for yourself in the same way you do for friends, family, dates, etc...

Have you ever had those moments where you want to go out, but it feels like no one is available? What about an event you'd like to attend, a movie you'd like to see, or a place you'd like to eat that none of your friends/lovers seem interested in?

It's time to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new.

The good folks in the field of psychology note that there are amazing benefits to learning to date yourself:

you build confidence and independence
you often find creative sparks and/or develop your critical thinking skills
you relieve stress and can take a mental reset

Most importantly, solo dating allows you to connect with who you are and can teach you about yourself. It helps you become a better friend, partner, parent, co-worker, and lover.

How do you do this? It's actually pretty simple!

Dedicate a specific day and time that you want to have your date. [You don't need to cancel plans with others or boycott a weekend turn up with the girls].
Plan your date like you would any other; where are you going? what will you wear? are you driving? will you have a drink? [the best part about this is you can do anything YOU want]
Get ready! On the day of your date, get dressed up and go! I mean it. Take the time and get yourself dolled up. [Make sure you put as much effort into impressing yourself as you do into impressing others].
Rip off the bandaid and go. Sure, you might be nervous. Yes, it might be awkward. Be scared and do it anyway.

If you are brand new to this, remember that you don't have to go crazy. Start small and build your way up to doing bigger, bolder solo dates as your comfort level increases.

Pro Tip: if you're really nervous about going out alone, bring something to keep yourself busy; a book, headphones, a journal/planner. You can even try talking to someone on the phone during your first solo date, if that makes you feel a little better.

Solo date ideas?

take yourself out to lunch (dinner is a little harder so I'd say start with lunch)
see a movie
have a picnic outside in nature
visit your favorite coffee shop
go shopping
visit a museum or exhibit
go to an amusement park
take a drive
plan a weekend getaway
have a movie night home alone
cook yourself a fancy meal
get a makeover
go to a show or concert
have a drink at a bar

I encourage all of my wifeys [and gents] to try any and all of these solo activities as often as you can. One day you might discover that you don't need a book, journal, or buffer.

Regardless, when you do take the plunge into solo dating, do it with your head held high.

Be proud of yourself and your own company.

No one is judging you; and if they are, that says way more about them than it ever could say about you.

You are a rockstar who prioritizes self-care, self-love, and self-acceptance above all things.

You are radiantly beautiful and refreshingly brilliant.

You are love and you are loved.

Until next time,

Carry on wifeys + gents!

Love,