I felt most of my life, the benefits of having a man to protect me, namely a boyfriend, even when the relationship wasn’t great, at least it was a man living with me who could scare away the creepy male neighbor, or a man to answer the door when I get a delivery and the instacart shopper decided to be creepy with me.

͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­͏     ­

	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Thoughts E.K.Vale Nov 1   READ IN APP   I felt most of my life, the benefits of having a man to protect me, namely a boyfriend, even when the relationship wasn’t great, at least it was a man living with me who could scare away the creepy male neighbor, or a man to answer the door when I get a delivery and the instacart shopper decided to be creepy with me. I have reflected on it, and how that may have encouraged women of my generation to seek out and stay in relationships we didn’t really want. I realize now that most of my relationships from the age of 15-29 were really motivated by the following: Feeling lonely or neglected by my family and simply needing attention from another human being. Getting attention for my looks or sexual appeal seemed easiest and it certainly got me the most positive attention from people. Feeling financially insecure and - at the time - either not wanting to live with roommates or really just not having anyone teach me about finding roommates who weren’t already your friends? I didn’t have any friends to room with, and it didn’t occur to me that you could out out an ad looking for the “ideal roommate” someone your age, your same gender, same situation in life - college taught me that but didn’t go to college until age 27 Wanting a family of my own and feeling especially desperate because I never had a close biological family Feeling emptiness I wanted to fill with another person instead of focusing on myself, I felt unimportant and my social anxiety made it hard to make platonic friends Social status. Being single seemed to be deemed pathetic or “less than” by society Letters from the Mire is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Upgrade to paid Invite your friends and earn rewards If you enjoy Letters from the Mire, share it with your friends and earn rewards when they subscribe. Invite Friends   Like Comment Restack   © 2025 Samantha Jones 548 Market Street PMB 72296, San Francisco, CA 94104 Unsubscribe