Love can be demonstrated in a variety of ways. While we have seen movies and know people, even ourselves, where a spouse will encourage the survivor to find a new companion, I must confess, I have never read a story like this one by Mil Markle in The Guardian about his wife called "My dying wife found me a girlfriend - I created a dating profile, using words Carolyn dictated from her bed."
Here are a few select paragraphs: "She was referred to a neurologist and diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. We loved each other deeply, but life was hard. By 2009, my world had shrunk to work and caring for Carolyn. Her condition was getting more serious, and I refused to think ahead to when she would be gone. It was just too painful.
So, when one day in 2011 Carolyn said, 'Mil, I'm going to find you someone,' I went into denial. 'That's fine,' I quipped, 'but you don't have to worry about it for a really long time.' She said it a few times again over the years, but I would change the subject.
Then in early 2019 we were in her doctor's office. Carolyn wanted to stop treatment and I sat numbly listening to her explain her decision. 'While we're talking about this,' she said, "I want Mil to find someone to be with when I'm gone." She paused. 'And I'm going to be the one to pick her.'"
The old line is "the woman picks the man," but this takes it to a new level. The dying woman will find her man a new companion. In the story, Mil is not an old man, but it reminded me of those "First Dates" shows when older divorced or widowed daters are looking for more of a companion than a lover. Or, maybe they are like Christopher Plummer's character in "Must love dogs" who explained to his daughter why he was dating as a widower saying he had the love of his life, now he is just tap dancing until he goes.
A link to the article is provided below.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/aug/02/experience-my-dying-wife-found-me-a-girlfriend
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