RelationDigest

Thursday, 5 January 2023

[New post] Blog Issues

Site logo image Nimue Brown posted: " Dear regular readers of the blog, those of you who are here often are likely aware that there have been some weird things going on in the comments in the last couple of months. I think it will be useful to those of you who have felt disquiet, to explain " Druid Life

Blog Issues

Nimue Brown

Jan 5

Dear regular readers of the blog, those of you who are here often are likely aware that there have been some weird things going on in the comments in the last couple of months. I think it will be useful to those of you who have felt disquiet, to explain as best I can what's going on.

First up, this is just one person. I wasn't sure initially, but I am now and have been for some time. They use multiple identities to try and make it seem as though there are a lot of people who have taken against me. Whether this is supposed to make me uncomfortable, or intended to impact on you, my readers, I am not sure.

I do not know who this person is or why they are doing what they do. Clearly this is someone who very much needs attention - perhaps having a whole post written about them will help with that. I've let the comments through and replied to them partly because at the moment this person doesn't seem to know how to seek attention in healthy ways, and at least this is a fairly safe space for them. While I do get frustrated and irritated sometimes, I'm doing my best to handle all of this constructively, and your patience is greatly appreciated around all of that.

There are people in my past who I have seriously annoyed, but this person doesn't write like any of them. I don't know if there's any real reason for the anger they keep bringing. I try hard not to cause harm, and if I mess up through ignorance or lack of attention then I want to know about that so I can do better. That's an open invitation to tell me if you have a problem with something I've done.

If this is a case of taking something out on me that has nothing to do with me… all I can do is counsel against that. It's a way of behaving that does not serve the person doing it, and will not fix anything. If this is about the desire to provoke me into behaving differently, then that's a bit of a waste of time, because I'm simply being myself here and there isn't anything significantly different from how I am responding that can be revealed by needling me. 

I'm not especially upset about the comments on my own account. I have spent quite a lot of time wondering what on earth could be going on in a person's head to lead them to act in this way. I hope the person doing this is able to seek more fulfilling ways of spending their time. I wish they would spend time working through their own issues in a supportive environment, but I recognise not everyone has the friend support to do that, and not everyone can afford therapy or counselling. The internet is full of free resources though. It is much better to invest time in learning, healing and changing yourself than it is to take out your frustration on some random person online.

For most of the life of this blog, I've been proud to say 'do read the comments' - a rare and delightful position to be in, considering the nature of the internet. I've been blessed with readers who respond thoughtfully, who open out discussions, add insight and who challenge in really good ways. Many of you have been reading and responding for years, and I treasure those interactions. I'm not going to change any aspect of what I do in response to what's going on, and I will wait and see if this person either finds the courage to tell me what their problem is, or gets bored with me, or finds something better. I wish them well, I wish them opportunities to learn, and grow and become a healthier, happier sort of person.

If any of this is impacting on you then please do flag it up in the comments. I don't want to make regular readers uncomfortable over this. I would rather keep those you you who benefit from the blog comfortable, and I'm not honestly sure what the best way to handle any of this really is.

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