RelationDigest

Monday, 30 May 2022

[New post] The binding touch

Site logo image Musa Kabwere posted: " Every relationship is a hustle and a ride in the gates of hell. Every relationship is a commitment, either a silent one or a stated one, either a subtle one or a loud one. There's a commitment lurking beneath. And that commitment, whenever isn't upheld b" institcheswords

The binding touch

Musa Kabwere

May 30

Every relationship is a hustle and a ride in the gates of hell. Every relationship is a commitment, either a silent one or a stated one, either a subtle one or a loud one. There's a commitment lurking beneath. And that commitment, whenever isn't upheld by any of the partners makes the relationship decay and eventually die.

 Relationships are easy. That's a lie to be honest. Relationships are hard. And that's why most people don't bother diving deep into them. That's why most people don't have a relationship with themselves and so they can't have a relationship with others. That's why most relationships are fucked up.

                             There might be an art to relationships. Probably, the art of making relationships work. And some have perfected this art and their relationships are thriving unimaginably. Maybe. It's possible. It's impossible at the same time. There are ideal relationships and people who strive for them. No one hits the mark though. No one humanly flawed hits the mark of the ideal relationship.

Everyone tries to their level best. And everyone, mostly, fails to try to their level best. So relationships aren't what they ought to be. They are just a pull and a push, a tug of war; this side aiming for that and that side aiming for that.

It needs a level headedness to genuinely want a relationship to thrive or to make a relationship work in the first place. And making a relationship work depends on an individual's metrics.

Relationships don't fail because people don't try to make them work. They fail because they are to fail. They fail because people want them to fail. They fail because no one is ready to put effort into making them work. It is wrong to say no one is ready to make them work. It is quite right to say one of the parties is ready to make the relationship work but the other side, the other party isn't in for the hustle. So they opt out at the end.

People lack the time to waste on a relationship. It takes long. And like anything worthy, it needs to be cultivated, to be tended to, to be lulled into the wanted rhythm. It takes long. It takes forever. And the hard bit is that forever. Committing to something forever isn't a thing everyone wants to do. Forever means making a conscious decision every day to make that thing work. To deposit everyday something that will hold it in place. To make correct something well you did wrong yesterday. Not everyone does that. Not everyone wants to do that.

                      The world is full of broken relationships, irreparable relationships that were meant to be forever.

And more relationships meant to stay forever will break. And more and more will break. And new ones will form, and more new ones will be formed. And they will take the course of the trend.

Maybe no one will find the secret. And no one will fully master the art. But one will know that a relationship is an extension of one's being, a merging of two different worlds operating on two different set of rules, and which needs a single set of rules to operate. And that is to say, at the convergence of the two worlds, there exists a single world which depends on the compromise from both sides, an unwavering understanding, and a compassion for letting the other person know they are worthy in the relationship and they can be the person they are.

And maybe someday, someone will find out the golden touch to bind all relationships against wreckage, against breakage, against decay and against death.

Kabwere Musa

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